After that I went to see my regular doctor about migraines that I've been having. We ended up talking about our adoption and he said, "can i just speak from a personal perspective?" And I said, "well sure." He said, "If I were you I'd just go ahead and have my own baby now and then adopt later." I just kinda looked at him. I think he realized that wasn't the appropriate response and he said, "well of course it's clearly up to you." And then we moved back to my migraine discussion. Something in me just got mad when he said that but I think I was just speechless. I guess I didn't anticipate my doctor saying that. But it made me realize how many people think that way.
In "Adopted for Life" Russell Moore says:
"Yes, there will be some who don't understand why you'd want to adopt. Some of them may even be related to you. This is because for many who've never experienced adoption, adoption seems to be simply a Plan B for people who can't have children. They're not able to see the beauty of adoption in and of itself. So be it. What better opportunity for you to model the God who adopts from every tongue, tribe, nation, and language and sets all the children together at the same table with the same inheritance and the same love? When you get puzzled looks from people who don't understand, just smile and tell them how happy you are for God's kindness to you, that you're grateful that he's blessing you again."
i think the thing that gets me most is the "own baby" part... um... this baby IS going to be my own baby! i know what they mean, but the choice of words it stupid! i would have been mad too. also, really, it's like, well that's you and not me. do you think we haven't thought this through?! oh boy... calm down, jenny!!
ReplyDeleteGrrr...that made me mad when I read it. I had a similar comment from my ob/gyn after I told her we were adopting (after a miscarriage). She was like "Don't give up now! You need to know what's going on before you make a decision like that." Then she hugged me and literally told me "Don't worry, I can fix you." Um, thanks, but I'm not broken and this is not plan B. I told her that this was not a second option or a last resort, it was something we've always wanted to do and that we felt God was leading us to do it now. Aghh, soo annoying!
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog but this is my first time commenting! We are getting a lot of the same comments too... like "don't you want to make sure you can't have your own children before you adopt?" I read a quote somewhere that was really helpful to me but I don't remember exactly how it goes- Parents don't "own" children. They are not possessions. They are people. We don't own them, we are entrusted to care for them! I'm so sorry that you got this foolish comment! Things like this get me so heated!
ReplyDeletePlease don´t fell angry with yout doctor, fell sorry for him. We should love stupid people like him, and hope there will be a change in their lives. I´m glad you guys are on the correct side ;)
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